i'm a loser baby...

hey. Pass the potato!

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 05:53:10 GMT

http://www.passthepotato.com/passedpotato.php?potatoid=050531201621-644644

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 16:31:23 GMT

Remember this?

1.get in a fist fight
~~2.ride the subway~~
3.go on a cruise
4.leave the country
5.eat chicago style pizza upside down in chicago
6.see bright eyes in concert
7.go sky diving
8.dig a really big hole
~~9.get a tatoo~~
10.do shots
11.go to nyc

all that i'm screaming is being held against me....

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 15:48:13 GMT

ok. sorry but I am really upset. I wanted to stay in the six pack at uiuc but instead i got placed across campus in Lincoln, an all girls dorm!!!!!!~! That was like the one thing that i didn't want! i wanted to be in a coed dorm. and the fourth floor wing is non-visitation, so i better not get stuck there. on a better note. we have the largest rooms anyway.

ps. my mom got her first separate checking account today and my dad got all pissed about it. then i find out that he didn't send the check to uiuc that he was supposed to, so i might be screwed. and my mom tells me to show him respect....

I also went home, alone...

Tue, 31 May 2005 18:32:08 GMT

list of random realizations:
1.Some people are FAR too dramatic
2.The Motorcycle Diaries is a fantastic movie and Gael Garcia Bernal is hot
3.I wish Chuck Palahniuk was my dad b/c he would tell the greatest bedtime stories
4.Eli's is the best place to work in the world
5.The CIA kinda blows sometimes
6.I am not as helpless as I sometimes think i am

i know all the words to all the songs...

Sun, 29 May 2005 05:35:00 GMT

alright alright. wireless is back up so i'm back on LJ. I finally graduated and i'm really wishing that i was having a party. but i'm not. so instead i am working all summer at eli's and i love it. my mom is finally letting me drive. and i'm pretty sure that kinsey is one of my new favorite movies and i will probably buy it. I'm also working on a new mp3 player that is pretty much the coolest thing ever. {ps. i'm watching infomercials and the woman said that this beauty product would take years off of your life...hmmmm} okay i am tired and going to bed and i will prolly update more tomorrow.

New version of you, I need a new version of me...

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 23:37:28 GMT

okay so it has been forever since i have updated. i got a job at Eli's (coffehouse) and I turned18. I got a tattoo. i like it a lot. my sister flew out about an hour and a half ago. she had spring break this week and had to go back to school. She left me with season 4 of Felicity(the final season) which was not a good idea because i have been crying so hard for the last 45 minutes. John is in DC, well on his way home now, and I really really miss him. so while Felicity is missing Ben, I am missing John. Terribly. I wanted to finish the rest of the season, only 5 more episodes, but i am afraid i would become severely dehydrated. I was going to shop for a prom dress today, but my dad and I were working on my car that my grampa gave me. my mom will prolly end up driving it more than me though. in fact i will prolly never have it. oh well. right now i think i am going to go and try to think about other stuff.

at two in the morning, when my body's not attached to my head...

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 04:14:36 GMT

quick update:

foreign exchange student from brazil tomorrow and i have to catch her up on photography

i felt like crap so i took a nap. it was very beneficial

I'm going to india this summer

i like knowing html

i bought 5 items online today. they are very nice.

i am definetly whats-her-face from home star runner.

that is all

and not to pull your halo down, around your neck and tug you off your cloud...

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 05:23:28 GMT

1. Pick one dozen movies that are ones that you have special feelings about.
2. Pick a few lines of dialogue that mean something to you.
3. As people guess the film, strike out that entry.

Don't answer more then 3 answers per person, make it fun for everyone else and no looking it up on IMDB. if you don't know it, you don't know it.
*Bonus Points For Character Name*

~~1. I can tap dance. wanna see me tap dance?~~

2. It's like taking me up to the top of the mountain, showing me the world, and then marching me back down saying "see, (name), that's what you can't have you big fat stupid article."

3. no, stop there. you are, and i don't believe this will come as a surprise to you, one of the worst singers i have ever heard. but it was very sweet.

4. Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what i saw, I'm scared of what i did, of who i am. And most of all i'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way i feel when i'm with you.

5. person 1: you know this is a really volcanic ensemble you're wearing. It's really marvelous.
person 2: Volcanic?
person 1: you know hot, dangerous...

~~6. My point is you can relax because your daughter will be safe with me for the next 7-8 hours sir.~~

7. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

~~8. Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore... you are gay. Signed Tiffany, and Amber.~~

9. It's really human of you to listen to all my bullshit.

~~10. Fellas! Fellas! Check this... all... reds!~~

11. person 1: What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something.
person 2: what makes you think i'm not?

~~12. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.~~

when you're stroking mama, mama's stroking you...

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 01:18:44 GMT

So john came over today and we took a nap. it was very nice.

i don't understand my parents.

Britt asks me random questions and says things that make me think.

that's all for now.

You put in for mama, she'll put out for you...

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 04:53:38 GMT

Singing along to the Chicago soundtrack is way too much fun! I like the cell block tango the best. they are all pretty good though. Spencer is a really great friend, in case you didn't know. um, duh, dum. i don't know what to write. what happened today? psych was interesting. talked about surveys and how 50% of those surveyed could be like 1 person b/c they may have only surveyed 2 people. spanish is starting to suck. i wish we would just start watching the soap opera already. i hate all this grammar repetition crap. sorry if my spelling is crappy, but when i listen to music i can't spell well. i guess for multimedia, we are supposed to be on lesson 10 on friday. i am definetly on lesson 14 today. so i am not as behind as i thought. organizational pictures were today and i looked like crap. i was having a really bad hair day. it always looks bad, but today it looked worse than usual. Mr. Boyd is giving us time in class tomorrow to finish our essays. i love how we only have 9 kids so we can use the comp lab right next door to the class whenever we want. but i need a disk to save it on. i could prolly buy one from the school or mr. boyd. who knows, maybe i'll actually finish in class. i just have the easy body part left, so it's a possibility.

walk right by me, and never know i'm there...

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 00:07:00 GMT

don't you hate it when your day starts out great and so you think you're going to have a great day and it just ends up being shit? that is what happened to me. i was walking to school and i saw this guy using a jackhammer and i thought it was really neat and i thought to myself "wow, today's gonna be great!" then it definetly wasn't. in world lit we started writing our essays and i don't have a floppy drive on my laptop so i brought cds to save the essay on. well, turns out the school doesn't have burners in the cd drive. so i went to save to the network, and word froze. so i lost everything that i had written. and judging by how fucking cheap the school is, they prolly don't have the version of word that recovers your documents. so i'm S.O.L. and so that made me really upset & frustrated. then walking home from school i saw a fucking escalade. if there is one thing that can ruin my day, it's an escalade. it just reminds me that i don't even have a crappy car to drive, but some fucking sophomore has a car that costs over $60,000. ugh it just makes me so mad. i'm sick of school and capitalism.

I hate Capitalism!

so don't hang yourself with a celibate rope...

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 04:22:42 GMT

okay so apparently only 2 people remember when urkle made the thing in his basement that turned him into Stefan (with the accent on the second syllable) and he was super smooth and gorgeous and dressed well and then Laura was all like "oh, stefan, you are so fantastic! i want to date you" because she didn't know he was urkle. Man, that was like the best episode of family matters ever! i loved it! and i'm pretty sure i watched TGIF like religiously. full house and family matters were my favorite. i didn't really like step-by-step. but that's ok. i really should be working on about 2 essays, but i'm not going to. man my mom is sick and sounds disgusting. she is coughing so hard she pukes. it's super gross! i'm learning more html and stuff. i'm up to graphics. it's neat. today in world lit i wanted to make people question their faith instead of following blindly and so i said that maybe the bible plagurized the story of Noah from the epic of Gilgamesh and people were like *whisper*did she really say that?*whisper*
and it was just kinda funny. i'm getting pretty sick of school. i really don't want to be there.

bushism of the day: "The best way to relieve families from time is to let them keep some of their own money." ***this is the exact quote, nothing is missing, it is just that dumb***

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 19:38:56 GMT

i think the single greatest cost in life is having children. i mean i used to want to grow up & have kids, but when i think about it now, i don't think i ever want to have kids. they take way too much time, energy, money. i mean if someone didn't have kids, they wouldn't have to pay for clothes, food, college, car insurance, recreation cash for a kid. i mean really. the money could be way better spent. this may seem kind of heartless of me, but remember, i babysat kids for 4 hours today already and i'm up for another 2 and a half later. ugh no thanks.

http://www.freewebs.com/theperksofbeingawallflower/index.htm

^^making a movie of the perks. but it's an independent thing done by these kids

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 02:20:28 GMT

Aladdin and Jasmine are hott! if i had to do a disney character, it would be aladdin. and if i had to do a female disney character, it would totally be jasmine.

4, 5, 6, come on and get your kicks...

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 19:56:35 GMT

so i am not the biggest fan of snow. i don't like cold. i don't like hot. i like warm. however it is pretty much impossible to accomplish warm. except in my room. i keep my door shut, which keeps most of the heat in, but not all of it. thus making my room warm. i like it. it's snowing outside, so i don't really want to leave my house. i am really craving sushi hardcore. sushi is soooooooo goooooooood! but i can't make it b/c you have to use rice vinegar and that reeks. and i don't want to go to peoria to get some. well, maybe i would venture into the cold white yonder for some susi popo. that place rocks my socks off. i think my mom is cooking food. but she prolly isn't. i need soda. i need the carbonation real bad! Spencer's hat came via UPS today. it looks nice. I need money & a job. i wish i got paid for my report card. i got really good grades. my mom had a talk w/my brother this morning b/c he is failing band or something. and he didn't have his report card b/c he has a library fine. but they never punish him or anything. they're gonna be gone in february and tim can't have friends over but i can have john over which is awesome!

and you're my teddy bear...

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 04:04:22 GMT

so i updated my site (www.geocities.com/xtearsfallx) a couple days ago and haven't posted it in here. School's ok, I'm gonna no weight some this time. I'm learning html in multimedia. and photography is annoying b/c deboer tries to put too many 'R's in it like "Phrortorgrarphry" no kidding and she never knows what she is talking about. american problems is cool. i just have to make sure i keep myself in check so that i don't tell some of the kids that their ideas make no sense. which will be hard considering the winners in my class. psych is way too early. i have to be there at the butt crack of dawn.(actually, before the butt crack of dawn) but it should be cool. i still have those dumb movies from the library. ugh. i should return those tomorrow. but i will prolly forget. meh. i was really dizzy this morning and i had to sit down in the shower so that i could actually breathe and not pass out. kerri said i might have low blood pressure which is what the doctor told me when i went in for my last physical. but my brother definetly wasn't sick at all and skipped school again. what's new? I can't believe my mom calls him in sick. next time she should just not call him in and he will get a saturday. and then maybe he won't just skip school. i am way tired and have to get up in about 6 hours, so i'm goin to bed.

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 04:53:58 GMT

You scored as Indie. Indie.

</td>

Indie

88%

Indie Rock

67%

Classic Rock.

67%

Emo & More

54%

Punk and Pop Punk.

54%

Ska

46%

Industrial

29%

Britpop

13%

Hip Hop and Rap

Hardcore

Country

Mainstream

Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com

Roy! Roy Roy Roy! Roy Roy Roy! Roy Roy Roy!

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 04:18:41 GMT

all right. so i'm not really in the mood to update the sweet time i had at the mall and one world. but, it was sweet and that's the important part. I have these dumb movies from the public library that are like 15 days overdue. i wonder how much i'll have to pay in fines for Sister wendy's story of painting two different versions of it actually. I'm not psyched that my psych final is going to be at 6am. that will actually blow. I don't think i can handle all these extra curricular activities i have going on. tomorrow i'm going to talk to sarmiento about jazz band b/c i don't think i can do it b/c i need to get a job and i can't do the church band either. I think I'm going to fill out job apps this weekend. If anyone would be willing to give me rides untill i can get a car that would be super awesome! For world lit we have to do book reports on these foreign books and he told libby that since les miserables is like 1000 pages it would count as 2 book reports. well I own The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky and it is like 936. so i'm thinking maybe it will count as 2 as well. that would rawk. I hope my classes don't suck.

ps. bushism from MLK jr. day - "do you have blacks too?" to the Brazillian President

ode to nice guys

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 23:36:09 GMT

Ode to the Nice Guys
Ode to the Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 09:12:25 GMT

SPENCER GOT ACCEPTED TO UIUC!!!!!!

more updates later...

but if you try sometime, you just might find....

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 23:46:26 GMT

so i have had a ton of time to think recently. so i've been using it! anyway, i've decided that my real new year's resolution will be to try to see things through the eyes of other people. and try to maybe understand the things that are going on in their lives and how there is prolly a ton of stuff that is going on that no one knows about. so i have been doing that a lot and it really helps to understand people. but it makes me really sad. mostly people act the way they think you want them to act. but really they feel totally different. it's just all kind of weird. so yeah. i just felt like posting that. the end.

i held your hand through all of these years...

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 05:05:54 GMT

so I can't believe that i haven't given props to spencers awsome poetry!!!! you can get to his site through the link in his profile, through the link on my site, or by clicking this: www.geocities.com/illinoisfightingillini for real. go read them. they are incredible!

I less than three them!

Everyone's a little queer, why can't she be a little straight?

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 04:51:29 GMT

oh my gosh. you should all buy stuff from oneinchbuttons.com b/c they have the best and greatest buttons. guess who doesn't care about finals. definetly me. i do care about downloading music and not myspace. orchestra final was easy. i am sick of school. ready to leave. wish i had graduated early. blech. kerri and i are going to sing everything we say. just b/c it is so funny. i'm excited about being over halfway done with school, but i am not excited about having to get up early 2nd semester. and i thought it was great how it was 56 in january. maybe this is the apocalypse.

dig me now and fuck me later...

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 00:39:09 GMT

i got my site up! www.geocities.com/xtearsfallx it's pretty neat. still under some construction though. more poems/pics will be added. let me know if you have any good links to suggest. or if you have pics that you want me to promote. so the song i wrote called "surviving you" is going in the trash. it was dumb and i hate it. i talked to ryan for a couple hours last night. first time in over a year. that is really sad. we helped each other through some really hard/weird times. i think we're gonna hang out this weekend or something. maybe get coffee or sushi. spencer and i are going to be cowpeople. complete with huge belt buckles! should be delightfully tacky yet unrefined. (<--hooters) lol. fun. i am not digging our spanish oral test. not digging it at all. and i'm pretty sure my hardest final will be resource management even though the class is easy. we use our notes on our tests, so i don't know like any of the info. i think instead of working on spanish, i will make dinner and watch mean girls.

[edit:]random thing i noticed->things always come full circle and time wounds all heals

you know i always like to play the victim...

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 02:18:49 GMT

i love how my homework is watching fight club so i can decide what to show in novels class. i think it would be hilarious to show the part where chloe wants to get laid and is like "i have pornographic movies and toys and amyl nitrate..." but that would not go over well. i'll prolly do the single-serving part and then the recall car. i don't want to give anything away though. actually i may do the part where he meets tyler on the plane. or the part where his apartment explodes. the whole thing is really good. ok. i've decided on the part where they start fighting in the parking lot.